Alopecia Journal

Our Wedding Day

2010-08-11T17:08:00.009-04:00

So much can be said about our special day....our wedding day! A joyous celebration with family, friends, and a man who knows my heart. We could not have asked for a more beautiful and spirit-filled event.

I lead a "bald life" on average 363 days out of the year. I went back and forth on whether to wear a wig on my wedding day. I was not living in my hometown when I lost my hair. Most of my family knows me with hair and it takes a little getting used to for them when I go home for visits.

The decision basically came down to my preference of going bald versus my grandmother's comfort. This wonderful lady is 90 years old and does not understand why I would not wear a wig. She absolutely loves seeing me in a wig. In the culture in which she grew up wearing wigs was common. When my grandmother first saw me in my veil and wedding dress, I knew we had made the right decision. It wasn't just my day. It was a day for all of my loved ones.

I have many memorable moments from having hair on my wedding day.
A 4 year old friend spinning around the bridal shop while trying on my veil.

My mom and little sister picking out my wig and coloring.

My groom not being able to find me during some pre-wedding day festivities. He always looks for the bald one.

Getting my hair pre-done for the wedding. Not many can say that.

The excitement of spending a morning with my bridesmaids at the salon getting an up do, drawing on eyebrows, and applying eyelashes. Some wonderful moments with a talented stylist and childhood friend.

The look on the groom's face seeing me for the first time. I don't even remember what he said.

After an hour of photos, the photographer saying, "Do you want to take your wig off for these next shots?" An exhilarating moment.

Sitting in an air conditioned room before the ceremony I was able to "let my hair down". Wig in the corner, feet propped up.

Taking pictures with friends at the reception only to hear, "Wait a minute. This isn't right." The next thing I knew we were having a bald photo shoot.

And finally, my husband taking off the wig at the end of the night and telling me I look beautiful.

I am so blessed that I am accepted as a beautiful bald lady in today's society. In the end, I am continuing to learn it is not what you look like that matters. With hair or without, what does matter is how you share your heart with others.
Wedding Day Slideshow
Wedding Day Photos

The Sharpie Marker

2010-06-01T10:24:00.007-04:00

On the last day of school this year, I was sitting against lockers signing students' yearbooks. A student comes up to me and says, "What would you do if I wrote on your head?" I was half paying attention and shrugged my shoulders with a little laugh. The next thing I know a smiley face was being drawn on my head. So started the line of kids waiting to make a mark on my bald head. A day I'll never forget and a testimony to how comfortable these students have become with someone who is a little different. I love these kids!

Engagement Photos

2010-04-28T10:09:00.002-04:00

A fun afternoon with a fiance who loves my bald head. Click to view the slideshow. http://bykellyandjustinproofing.com/ss/thompson0410/

Kelly & Justin Photography, Elkhart, IN

3 steps back

2010-03-31T11:53:00.002-04:00

Scene: Dining-in at a fast food restaurant. 8 year old or so boy bounces past my table. He takes 3 steps backward and stops. Deep stare. I smile. He bounces on with balloon in hand.

Hopefully he'll become a little more discreet in the future or at least stop long enough for me to explain that yes, I am a bald girl.

Big grin.

141 days until our wedding

2010-03-05T12:30:00.009-05:00

141 days until....our wedding!!! I've wanted to write a post about my fiancé for several months now. To share with this community the man who loves every part of me--the man who even loves that I do not have hair.

It is truly hard to put all of my thoughts into words. When I chose to not wear a wig, the biggest fear I had was dating. You can read some of my past insecurities in "Dating...Is it the hair?" and "Blind Date". "Do you wear a wig on the first date", "when do you tell the guy", or "would a guy even ask out the bald lady" were just some of my concerns. There were continual challenges and fears that arose.

Then one day, when I least expected, it happened. I met a man who would soon pray, "God let me see her as you see her." We met on a rare occasion when I was wearing a blond wig (later he told me that he did not remember what color hair I had). I told him over the phone that I had Alopecia and was bald. I really did not think he would ever call me back. Then, the next night the phone rang.

For our first date, I told him that I was not going to wear a wig. We were both noticeably anxious. I did not know what he would think of my smooth scalp and he did not know how he was going to react.

I have not worn a wig in his company since we first met. Actually, he's worn the wig more than I have. :) Sometimes I ask, "What would you think if my hair ever grew back?" His response is always, "I'd shave it off when you weren't looking."

I did not fall in love with this man simply because he accepted that I was bald. I love this man because from the beginning he went to God asking for help. Asking to see me through God's eyes and not with false judgment.

There are a lot of unknowns surrounding this journey with Alopecia. I am very thankful for all those in my life and in my fiancé's life who have affirmed our faith and guided us to a Godly perception. We are in awe of the beauty of our relationship and encourage all to be slow to judge.

Creative Introduction

2010-02-22T11:29:00.004-05:00

This Sunday after Church a young girl came up to me and wanted to introduce me to her friend. The girl informatively said, "she has the other type of chemo." It was so hard for me not to giggle. My little friend knew I wasn't sick, and she constructed a creative introduction.

Things Alopecians Like #13

2009-12-17T07:43:00.002-05:00

Making fun of your boyfriend because he's going bald.

Pharmacy Drive-Thru

2009-10-13T14:43:00.000-04:00

I pulled up to the pharmacy drive-thru and the clerk asked for my name. She came back and forth to the window getting various information. After all the formalities she said, "you know, there's not a lot of women who can pull that off."

People look at you once, then twice, and most likely a third time before going about their business. But I'm very thankful for the few that stop and take a moment to make me smile.

That's the wrong door

2009-10-09T17:37:00.004-04:00

I was walking into a public restroom at McDonald's and a lady across the room shouts, "That's the wrong door!" I immediately look at the sign on the door with a lady's icon. It was so hard for me not to laugh. I turned around, with my pearl earrings, gave her a smile and walked into the restroom. Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Hey that girl is....

2009-09-28T12:02:00.002-04:00

BALD! I get so tickled when a little kid points out to their mom or dad that I am bald. The look of terror on the parent's face, the intense stare of the child, and a little smile from me make a great moment. I could probably count at least 15 times in the past month that a child has pointed out my baldness. These kids have truly lightened my soul and slowed me down in such a fast paced world. We often ignore things that need to be seen around us, but a lot can be learned from a child's perception.

Things Alopecians Like #12

2009-08-08T11:37:00.002-04:00

A bandanna tan from not wearing sunscreen.
(This isn't really a like, but it makes people laugh when you're walking around with a bandanna tan)

Vegas ER

2009-07-20T11:09:00.000-04:00

This summer I did some service projects in Las Vegas. One night I had to go to the emergency room with a friend who had a minor ailment. I sat across from a lady who was in scrubs and had noticeable bandages all over her body. I gave a little smile and she said, "I bet not having hair makes it cooler outside." I'm not sure if hair calculates when the temperature is 120 degrees F. We both laughed and she asked me what happened to my hair. In the middle of my alopecia explanation it hit me on how this lady was suffering, truly suffering, and yet her concern was about me. I forget what others may perceive of me in certain situations. Emergency Room + Bald Girl = Really Sick.
I've learned a lot these last few years about staying open to conversations with those who ask about my hair. I'm thankful for that night's conversation.

Dating...Is it the hair?

2009-05-09T10:20:00.001-04:00

The biggest obstacle in my life is the overcritical thought process of myself. People say my bald look is beautiful and I believe I am beautiful. However, I still fight with stupid analysis of personal "flaws".

I started thinking about how I haven't been on a date in a year. Then, I quickly blamed it on being bald and the difference between acceptance and attraction. The thoughts quickly spiraled into despair. It's amazing how much easier it is to lie in despair, which is harder on the body, then to embrace hope for the future.

The bald card is a simple excuse. When in reality, the right circumstances have just not come together. Do I want someone to fall in love with my wig or with my personality? My brushed-in eyebrows or my intelligence? My fake eyelashes or my zeal for life?

I am so thankful for the way in which Alopecia has empowered my walk. Next time I hope to be less critical of my looks and more captivated by the challenge that lies ahead.

Take Off That Hat

2009-04-20T19:27:00.002-04:00

At the end of my meal, the waitress says with a big smile, "Take off that hat!" I'm not sure why I chose to wear a hat today, but her statement was a pleasant surprise.

I have chosen to "live bald". No wigs and occasional hats. When I first lost all my hair, I wondered what strangers thought of my choice to go bald--can she not afford a wig or she must be really sick. But now I am so comfortable being bald and sharing my life with alopecia.

My encounter with the waitress was so very refreshing. One of her co-workers has alopecia. The conversation that continued made me feel so beautiful. I was not able to meet the lady who had alopecia, but I passed on AlopeciaWorld.com.

Things Alopecians Like #11

2009-03-28T00:39:00.000-04:00

Jogging on a windy day = no problem

Do you have Alopecia?

2009-03-22T22:00:00.004-04:00

"Do you have Alopecia?" For the first time a stranger asked me this. Usually the question is "do you have cancer?" or something similar.

While loading groceries into my car, a van pulls up with the window down. I smiled at the two women in the car trying to figure out if I knew them. Then they asked the question and a wonderful conversation about alopecia followed. Their 7 year old granddaughter does not have hair. They took my picture to show the child.

A neat experience.

A Grandmother's Wig

2009-03-10T18:40:00.005-04:00

I work with elementary students several times a week. Today, with the sweetest sincerity, a child told me that her grandmother has several wigs I can borrow. I told her that I preferred to not wear wigs. She asked why and I said they're itchy. She laughed and her loving smile was priceless.

Some days I do wonder why I don't wear wigs. I have no regrets for deciding not to cover the hair loss. It's just a continual process of embracing who I am. Today, I deeply value the sweetness of a child's thoughts.

Things Alopecians Like #10

2009-01-11T15:20:00.001-05:00

Frizz-be-gone:
"Freedom from "frizz" drama! No matter rain, wind, humidity, etc..."

Thanks Sandy (Alopecia World)!

Things Alopecians Like #9

2009-01-09T09:21:00.002-05:00

No more coat zipper drama. No hair, no worries.

Smoothly ringing in the New Year

2009-01-03T21:44:00.002-05:00

Celebrating another new year with a smooth scalp leaves me filled with mixed emotions. In October, I started growing little patches of baby hair. This was so exciting. Then, the hair started to fall out again. No!! I was so very hopeful this time. The hair was going to grow back!

Calming down I remember how beautiful God has made me. Although the hair is not growing I have so much hope in the new year. Not only in eventually having a head full of hair, but also in helping others understand life with Alopecia.

Happy New year to my bald buddies and prayers for confidence on who we are--Bald and Beautiful!

Things Alopecians Like #8

2008-12-06T09:05:00.001-05:00

Carefree cooking! No worries about stray hair falling into the main dish.

2008 Photos

2008-11-19T00:02:00.000-05:00

Photos taken with Alopecia Areata Universalis.

Kids are so honest

2008-11-18T20:29:00.004-05:00

I enjoy interacting with kids. They say the cutest things, and quite honestly their inquisitive minds are refreshing. In two separate occasions this week I was quite frankly told, "You don't have any hair." I wonder what processing goes through a 4 year old brain when encountering an Alopecian.

These kids were a blessing to me this week. I've been questioning my decision to live bald instead of wearing a wig. A wig would make me look more normal and perhaps provide comfort in some situations. But is wearing a wig who I really am. I know I don't fit into the mold of a normal looking woman, but these kids reaffirm my decision to walk bald. They could have said you look weird or funny, but instead they told me who I am. Bald and beautiful.

Mirror, mirror

2008-10-31T16:54:00.001-04:00

Shortly after the initial hair loss, I went through a short period of scalp regrowth, then it fell out again. I found this entry from my personal journal this morning. This was written 4 months after losing all my hair........

.....I wandered by the mirror today and you’ll never guess what I saw. So you guessed. I saw my reflection. Do you have to walk by a mirror to know what you look like? No. I knew when I looked into the glass that I would see a familiar face with deep blue eyes and ears that poke out a bit. A face with a small scar on the forehead that most people don’t notice; mom told me to stop itching my chicken pox.
A mirror is not needed to show me what I know is already there, but what happens when your reflection changes. Each time I walked by the mirror noticeable white skin was taking the place of my thick brown hair. By the third month, the skin was as smooth as a baby’s bald head. Maybe if I wander away from the mirror and then try a glimpse again the image that I knew would appear.

Rewind 15 years, as a child I was told that I had an immune disease that caused hair loss. The doctor said there was a potential that I could one day loose it all, but you never think worse case scenario.

For a time, walking by a mirror was needed to discover what I looked like.
My hair is slowly growing back now. Leaving me speechless by this time in my life. What I can put into words is that my mistakes this past year have been grand, and to see my heart being renewed is amazing.

Baby Hair

2008-10-12T20:57:00.006-04:00

Teeny, tiny, itty, bitty, blonde hair is starting to pop up on my scalp. I'm very happy, but do not know if this is a sign of total regrowth. The hair is in patches and not very visible. I am still thankful that I have not used medication or injections to make my hair grow. There are so many unknowns with alopecia. Although forcing my body to grow hair through medication would be easy, the body could fight back and not receive the growth. A glimmer of hope and a prayer of patience as I wait to see how what my body does with this new growth.

Things Alopecians Like #7

2008-10-10T22:26:00.001-04:00

Guys, This one's for you: No need for ear or nose hair grooming.

Locks of love

2008-10-01T20:08:00.001-04:00

I approached a teenager today who had cut off her long hair. I told her the new style looked cute and she said that she donated the hair to Locks of Love. My heart warmed for this child's compassion. Locks of Love is an organization that provides hairpieces to children who are suffering from hair loss. I am blessed to have lost all my hair in adulthood, but I am still thankful for the way people show love to kids that are struggling. Maybe one day I can grow my hair back and donate it to help this worthy organization.

Things Alopecians Like #6

2008-09-24T08:31:00.001-04:00

A timeless hairstyle. Looking in a photo album 20 years from now, no one will ask, "What were you thinking with that hairstyle?"

Blind Date

2008-08-15T20:46:00.006-04:00

After losing all my hair, my boyfriend shaved his head. I only hope that I can support someone like he did for me. We've since moved apart and I've been on 2 blind dates. My friends are so sweet to try to set me up, but it is hard to be Bald & Single. On a normal first date I spend a good amount of time figuring out what to wear. This is a usual female ritual. An extra anxiety always creeps into my head. To wig or not to wig.

The guy will inevitably learn that I'm bald and that I'm comfortable without a wig. However, will wearing the wig on the first couple of dates add to the comfort level of both? I know there is no definite answer and it depends on the situation, but I wanted to share my two experiences.

The first blind date I was so anxious during the entire evening that I could not even enjoy the company. A very selfish experience on my part. By the end of the evening, I had told him that I had Alopecia, was wearing a wig, and I did not know when or if the hair would grow back. I left him in a confused state. Lesson 1: Life is not all about me. Wearing a wig is not a form of dishonesty and does not have to be explained on the first date.

The second blind date I decided to wear the wig again, but to relax and enjoy the evening. After an enjoyable first date and several nice conversations, my brain began to race again. When do I tell him that I'm bald? It is such a distracting question. I finally told him on the third date. His response was silence followed by, "I think I knew someone in school with Alopecia." He engagingly listened to my explanation of the disease and I showed him my driver's license picture. License pictures are never flattering but it is the only pre-hairloss photo I always have with me. We saw each other a few more times and he decided to just be friends. Lesson 2: Don't be so anxious about the man's response, embrace the experience in meeting someone new, and look forward to someone falling in love with you for who you are.

I will not lie. The fear of not being given a chance because I'm bald does creep in. However, that is a selfish lie contrived in my head. I look forward to future dates and to discovering how others see beauty.

Finger Hair!

2008-08-07T16:49:00.004-04:00

I discovered finger hair today. It was like an infant realizing that she has hands and feet. Alopecia Universalis affects the entire body. There has not been hair on my body for almost 2 years. My friends may laugh as I stare intently for little blond hair between my knuckles, but it's the little things that I used to take for granted that I'm rediscovering. Maybe this is a sign of complete regrowth.

Things Alopecians Like #5

2008-06-09T16:00:00.002-04:00

A no hassle look after a summer swim.

Things Alopecians Like #4

2008-05-13T12:04:00.001-04:00

Compliments on your beautiful hair hi-lights when you're wearing a low maintenance wig.

Things Alopecians Like #3

2008-05-11T11:58:00.003-04:00

A ready-to-go look after a convertible ride.

Things Alopecians Like #2

2008-05-08T08:59:00.002-04:00

Sporting a bald look at Disney equals front row seats on Splash Mountain.

Things Alopecians Like #1

2008-05-07T16:36:00.003-04:00

Not having wet hair when the electricity goes out.

Video Store Guy

2008-04-24T16:31:00.001-04:00

I really like the video store down the street. Great prices, convenient, and the video store guy rocks. When living with Alopecia, I often think that few people understand what I’m going through. Yes, I have tremendous support from family and friends, but it’s rare that you run into a stranger that understands.

Many months ago I noticed an employee at the video store who had a small nickel-shaped bald spot. I knew immediately he had some form of Alopecia, but I was not bold enough to bring up the subject. Saying I wasn’t bold is kind of funny. Here I was walking around the video store completely bald. The months went by and I noticed he had more bald spots and was shaving his head. Now I want to talk to him, but the lines are always long or someone needs his help.

Today, I finally got the moment to connect. We had a short conversation about our Alopecia journeys from childhood. We decided that I would pray that all his hair would fall out so he didn’t have to shave anymore, and he would pray that my hair would come back. How funny is that. A brief, but warming connection that I hope will spark future conversations and support.

Alopecia World

2008-04-20T19:49:00.005-04:00

Alopecia World is an amazing place to connect. Chat, blogs, photos, and videos are just a few features of this site. Besides being nicely designed, this site offers support that I wish I would have had all my life.

Alopecia World is a new social networking site for people living with hair loss, their loved ones and friends. Join today for support, to encourage others, make new friends, or perhaps meet the love of your life. It's 100% free! (alopeciaworld.com)

Please check out the site. Thank you Alopecia World for giving all of us a chance to share our unique lives!!

Second Doctor's Visit

2008-03-10T19:36:00.002-04:00

In another post, I talked about not having a regular family doctor and how hard it was for me to visit a doctor. Another bug recently weakened my body, and with unfamiliar symptoms a doctor's visit was necessary.

I'm proud to say that my past fears of what a doctor might say about my baldness were gone. I not only went to a walk-in clinic, but also did not wear a wig. The symptoms were discussed, a diagnoses given, and no mention of the baldness.

Do not fear what others may think or say. Your reflection is yours. Embrace the beauty. A recurring theme of my experience with Alopecia.

Have a nice day SIR

2008-03-05T21:35:00.004-05:00

A big smile to the greeter at Wal-Mart; the older man does try hard to communicate niceties to the busy rush of people. We made eye contact as I was pushing my cart out the door and he said, "Have a nice day SIR." This normal phrase brought a crush to my feminine heart.

I’ve often wondered how often people mistake me for a guy--especially in the winter time when bulky clothes loose gender specificity. I even have it in my head that if I wear big hoop earrings and heavier makeup I cannot be mistaken.

Still there are those moments like in Wal-Mart where someone does mistake me for a guy. An awkward correction follows or my gender remains mistaken. The essence of my womanhood does not want to be called sir. Just when I think I'm strong enough to accept the beauty of my image a simple mistake wounds my heart.

The biggest goal for me right now is not to get too frustrated by my sinking reaction to the word sir. In other words, I am allowed to experience a heart squeeze in the image healing process. Don’t get frustrated with your frustrations for in these moments a great strength can arise.

Helpful Resources

2008-03-01T00:00:00.004-05:00

An updated list of helpful sites. Please comment this post with more links.

resources
National Alopecia Areata Foundation
WebMD
Team Alopecia
Her Hair Loss Help
Children's Hair Loss Project
Headz Up

alopecians
Alopecia World
Alopecia And Love
Bold Beauty Is Being Beautifully You
Women's Hair Loss Project
Crowned Regal
Alopecia Areata Support Community
Bald Girls Do Lunch
Her Alopecia

wigs & coverings
Locks Of Love
Wigs.com
Headcovers Unlimited
Lids

Hair Dryer Be Gone

2008-02-22T21:04:00.004-05:00

By far one of the best things about not having hair is the maintenance-free look. I save an hour everyday not having to blow dry and straighten my thick hair. I cannot exactly tell you what I do with that time, but today I did spend an hour with a hair dryer. My roommate’s dryer shorted out and I volunteered to run to the store to pick up a new one. Once there I realized how funny it was for the bald lady to be picking up a hair dryer. So I did like most do and picked up a few other things not to bring attention to the funny purchase. The cashier gave me a sweet grin when the hair dryer rolled up on the conveyer belt.

The story has one more twist. Back at the apartment, we discovered that I had picked up the exact hair dryer that my roommate did not want. Little did I know there were hair dryer user preferences. I reluctantly agreed to exchange the dryer. Now I’m in the return line; a bald girl, a hair dryer, and a big cheesy grin on my face. This was followed by another hair dryer purchase and cashier experience before rescuing my roommate from her wet hair. My interesting afternoon led to a continued thankfulness for not having to use a hair dryer on a daily basis.

Compassionate Question

2008-01-22T12:17:00.000-05:00

How long have you been on chemotherapy? A few words making up a simple question said with the most compassionate eyes. After a nice morning of snow skiing, my friend and I were sitting in the lodge resting when a lady stopped and posed the question. I had taken off my hat letting my baldness glow from the light of the fire. Smiling, I explained that I didn't have cancer, but that it was a form of Alopecia. She looked a little confused as I continued to explain. She asked if it would grow back and I responded, "Hopefully." With one swift action she reached up and pulled off her short blond wig showing me her regrowth and saying, "When it does begin to grow back it will look like this." By this point she had a bright smile and this compassionate survivor had given me hope. Her journey was much more difficult than mine, and her fight with cancer had settled into a time of remission. This beginner skier was living in the moment and spreading her hope.

Chilly Nights

2008-01-19T15:48:00.002-05:00

The furnace went out last night and the thermometer outside registered below zero. Since most of body heat is lost through the head, not only was my bald head chilly but also the rest of my body. Can icicles form on baby hair? Probably not inside the house, but this leads to the question of what caps to wear on cold nights. I purchased a cap from Slumbercap.com not to long ago. The quality product and service from this store is great. The cap has good uses under itchy wool caps or wigs, but it's made from basic cotton and not my preference for sleeping. For my personal comfort I prefer to sleep without a cap, but if needed a fleece lined or super-soft cotton texture works the best. Both Target & Old Navy are good, economical choices for these types of winter caps. Upon its return, my hair will be deeply valued on cold winter nights.

Doctor Dread

2008-01-07T23:18:00.001-05:00

I'm a twentysomething with very few health problems. Besides the nuisance cold or cough, I've had no serious ailments since losing my hair. After a recent night with chills and a high fever it was time to go to the doctor. No problem, right? Not exactly. Although I am completely comfortable with my baldness around people in my everyday life, I have an unhealthy stigma of what a doctor would say about the alopecia. In short, I have not been to doctors because I was afraid of what they would say.

Swallowing back irrational fears, I put a wig on my clammy head for my first doctor's visit in a long time. The nurse asked me about family history and then she asked if there was anything else. In an uncharacteristically shy manner I said, "Yes, I have Alopecia." She was surprised because the wig was hiding the baldness. Then, she sat down next to me with a friendly smile and told me about her sister-in-law who also had Alopecia. This was such a relaxing experience and I was so thankful for the healing time she spent with me. Later, the doctor was very nonchalant and did not really talk about the Alopecia.

Dreading the doctor was so silly. I am continually growing, and it is hard to say that I will ever be 100 percent comfortable with my baldness. In the most beautiful way, the personal growth will be so much sweeter than any future hair growth.

2007 Photos

2007-12-31T13:51:00.000-05:00

Photos taken with Alopecia Areata Universalis.

Explaining Alopecia

2007-05-01T15:46:00.002-04:00

Most people have never heard of Alopecia Areata. So trying to explain myself can be quite difficult. Several times I have gotten a response of "yeah, an old friend or classmate had that." I mostly try to portray to people that despite the baldness, I am healthy and happy. Nonetheless some still do not grasp my explanations.

After about five months of sporting my new bald look, I still had a few acquaintances ask, "When are you going to let your hair grow back?" My thoughts raced through a series of unbecoming responses before I settled on, "It will grow back in time." I have total respect for men who have that nice shaved looked everyday. When my hair starts to grow back, I will not hold on to the bald look. Long locks that I can eventually donate to Locks Of Love will be my style!

Rogaine

2007-04-01T17:04:00.005-04:00

My dermatologist suggested that I use Rogaine. He said to use the generic over-the-counter Minoxidil Topical. This is not a cure for Alopecia, but a stimulant for hair growth.

I used the box treatment and found this treatment ineffective for me. When applied to the scalp, there is an initial tingling and the head massage offers unique pampering. The main reason my doctor suggested the treatment to increase the blood flow to the scalp which is known to help re-growth. However Minoxidil (Rogaine) treatments could get pricey over the span of 3 or 4 years of baldness. I have chose "rubbing therapy" on my own. My personal theory is that during these early stages of hair loss the Minoxidil (Rogaine) style treatment does not help. Maybe when the hair on my legs or arms starts to grow back, I will begin another round of Minoxidil (Rogaine) treatments on my scalp.

Inquisitive Tikes

2007-03-30T12:38:00.002-04:00

Who do you relate with? Some are relate better with people their own age or elderly or teens, but I have discovered a new relational bond while having Alopecia Areata Universalis. This is going to sound really funny. I seem to have a unique connection with toddlers. From grocery stores to amusement parks, crying to inquisitive tikes, babies seem to stop in their tracks with a face of "she looks like me but she's so much bigger." There is something about the shared baldness that can make a crying baby stop or a thoughtful baby want to touch my head. Although I am a stranger, there seems to be some kind of unique connection. Maybe the balding trait is why babies love their grandfather's so much.

Family Viewing

2007-03-10T14:34:00.001-05:00

The mourning of the death of my uncle brought on a rollercoaster week of family gatherings. We all flew in from different places to be together. My uncle had fought strongly against cancer for several years and it was time to celebrate his life.

Many close family members would see me for the first time without any hair. Although most of them had seen my little bald spots as a child and I did not know how they would react to my new look.

I chose to arrive with my wig and keep it on as much as possible in order not to remind anyone of the trials my uncle faced through chemotherapy treatments. When most people see someone with Alopecia Areata, they think that person is afflicted with cancer.

In private times with different family members, I would show off the beauty of my baldness. My family is so amazingly supportive and their words were so uplifting. In a beautiful way, this week I learned so much about life.

One Mystery Solved

2007-02-17T21:07:00.000-05:00

The exact cause of Alopecia Areata is still unknown and most lean toward heredity as a major factor. My family always had one question, "Where did she get Alopecia?" No one else exhibited hair loss and my older relatives could remember no distant figure with the condition.

An unsolved mystery until a casual conversation between my aunt and her cousin. My third cousin had just experienced complete hair loss and was diagnosed for the first time with Alopecia Areata. Unlike myself, who was diagnosed in childhood, my cousin experienced his first loss in his late twenties. His grandmother and my grandfather were siblings, and now for the first time I discovered that my autoimmune disease was truly hereditary.

The fact that my cousin and I are experiencing baldness at the same time is hard to believe. I wonder how my great-great-...relative, whoever he or she maybe, dealt with hair loss centuries ago.

Nice Perspective

2007-02-01T00:30:00.002-05:00

Shortly after I lost all my hair, a friend sent me this email forward. The story has been sent to me several times since and is a nice life perspective. Enjoy.

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and she only had 3 hairs on her head. Well, she said I think I'll braid my hair today. And she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and she saw she had only 2 hairs on her head. Well she said, I think I will part my hair down the middle today, and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and had only 1 hair on her head. Well, she said I think I will wear my hair in a ponytail today, and she had a fun fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed she had NOT one single hair on her head. Yea, she exclaimed.. I don't have to fix my hair today.

Attitude is everything, Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, and Speak Kindly.. Leave the rest to faith or God..

Wedding Wig

2007-01-13T12:34:00.001-05:00

The wig worked very well for the wedding. Noone but close friends knew that I had lost my hair. I found myself very concious of the wigs position. I adjusted its postion often and went to the restroom several times to check on how I looked. This was the first, and one of the few, events I would wear the wig. The disguise kept me away from awkward conversations with people I rarely see, but in every day life I choose to go natural.

Ice Breaker

2007-01-10T19:39:00.001-05:00

A lot of my friends and I have moved away from each other since school. With a houndstooth hat covering my smooth head and my wig packed away, I boarded a plane for a friend's wedding. This would be the first time that one of my best friend's would see me since the hair loss. She is always supportive of my crazy adventures, but I do not think she knew exactly what I would look like.

Our meeting at the airport was perfectly normal. Most people that have not seen me in a while do not know quite what to say about my condition. I look the same and yet I am missing my thick head of hair. We drove to her place talking like we had never been apart, and yet there was little discussion about how I looked.

Then, a funny moment broke the ice. She lived in a third floor apartment and on the second flight of stairs we passed a man who gave us a funny look. Here I was, the bald girl, lugging a big piece of luggage while my friend had only a little purse in hand. Once in the apartment, we laughed hysterically wondering what the guy was thinking. ‘Why would that girl make the poor cancer patient carry a heavy bag up three flights of stairs?’

A Boyfriend's Surprise

2007-01-03T19:20:00.001-05:00

On a warmer than usual day in January, I decided to go to the river walk with my boyfriend. I was pleasantly surprised to find that he had shaved his head. I never prompted him to follow in my new look. Despite spending a lot of work hours outside, he kept a fresh shave throughout the cold winter. We are no longer together, but the sentiment of him shaving his head perfectly describes his attitude toward my Alopecia. I will always be thankful for having such a great boyfriend during my stages of hair loss.

First Wig

2007-01-01T20:35:00.001-05:00

I purchased one nice wig after I lost all my hair. I was going to an out-of-town wedding in a few weeks and I did not want the focus to be on my baldness. The biggest problem with my wig purchase is that I did not have a lot of time before I needed it. So instead of checking out the cancer center and the old wigs shops in town or going on a Chicago shopping trip, I thought buying online would be the easiest.

Shopping online for a wig can be quite intimidating. Finding secure sites, styles, colors, sizes, and price make for a tedious shopping experience. I narrowed down the wigs to a few of my favorites and let my family pick the winner. I had the hardest time determining the color. The online color swatches might not be the actual wig color. A consumer can order a color swatch from the company, but that takes time and I was in a hurry to get the wig shipped. I decided on a Raquel Welch wig at Wigs.com for about $250. This is pricey, but I wanted good quality and I plan to eventually donate the wig.

When the wig arrived, it was nothing like my original hair. The different color and style were a bit refreshing for me, but those close to me did not like the change. Overall the wig turned out to be a good buy for the wedding.

Be cautious if you order your first wig online. Make sure you get the right size and order a color swatch before purchasing. My experience did not provide the greatest satisfaction, but I think part of this perception is from me not liking wigs to begin with.

Church Reaction

2006-12-31T10:21:00.001-05:00

Some heard through the vine why I was loosing my hair and others observed something was happening to my hair. I remember the cute snow white wool cap that I wore that day to Church. There were several hundred people in attendance and as I found a seat, friends gave me warm smiles and commented on my cap. Worship was great and gave me so much encouragement on the blessings that God would provide through my baldness.

After the service, many came towards me. Prayer warriors, cancer survivors, and friendly faces all made sure everything was alright. I have such a deep respect for this family of believers. I tried so hard to hide my balding and although many probably wondered what was going on they respected my privacy until it was time to share. When I did share, their support was indescribably beautiful.

To Wig or Not To Wig

2006-12-29T08:53:00.001-05:00

During this Alopecia journey, deciding not to wear a wig was probably the best decision I made. I am the first to admit that I am not a wig expert. I do not like the way wigs look or feel. I know they are invaluable pieces for some, but having spent most of my life hiding bald spots I have chosen to “show off” my bald head. I usually wear some type of cap in public and sometimes just go out bald. I have not bought any special makeup for eyebrows or artificial eyelashes. I basically let God’s light and my smile carry my beauty.

Work Reaction

2006-12-28T17:06:00.001-05:00

Not having a wig and tired of hiding my balding, I went to work with a baseball cap over my freshly shaven head. The first person to see me had once lost her hair from cancer. The sincere caring response kept me brave. The rest of the day was spent answering questions. Someone asked a neat question, “Who did you shave your head for?” I would like to think that I would shave my head in support of a friend. That one question really put everything in perspective for me. My change in appearance was nothing compared to those battling with terminal illnesses.

As the months went on, some still did not understand the concept of Alopecia Areata. Questions like “When are you going to grow your hair back?” were sometimes asked. My response was usually a smile and a simple, “When I can.” Others would ask me to take my cap off and say, “That is so cool.” Since I’ve chosen not to wear a wig, I sometimes wonder if new employees assume I’m battling cancer or if they ask others to find out my true condition. A neat part about my company is that although I do work with the public no one in management has ever hinted for or asked me to wear a wig or cover my baldness.

The Big Shave

2006-12-26T14:36:00.001-05:00

The time had come for the big shave. My family, in town for Christmas, was surprised at how little hair remained. I had been contemplating shaving the remaining hair on my head, and with my mom’s comforting touch now was the time.

First scissors, then the razor, slowly watching my hair, the few stronghold pieces fall to the ground. My mom’s patience and love kept me strong. That moment in my journey with Alopecia areata universalis left me so liberated from the burden of loss. I no longer had to watch the hair disappear from my head. I was free to embrace the baldness.

Thanksgiving dinner

2006-11-23T09:53:00.000-05:00

What’s on the menu for Thanksgiving dinner? Maybe some of my hair. I felt like I was on the set of I Love Lucy while preparing a small holiday meal for some friends. The goal of home cooked meals is to create hmmm mmm goodness. My goal was to keep the hair out of the dressing. Not having hair to pull into a ponytail, I wrapped it around a bandana and hoped there would be no surprises for my guests. The meal preparation was very funny and a cooking experience not to be forgotten.

Blessed Questions

2006-11-19T12:52:00.000-05:00

The time came to ease the concerns of some of the youth that I worked with at Church. At one of the gatherings, I brought up the obvious fact that my hair was thinning and I went on to describe the cause of the hair loss. They respectfully listened to the story as I awkwardly fumbled through the details.

The talk was not motivational on how God was making me better through the experience of hair loss. I did not yet know how God would work through me, but the youth group's response was much needed. They asked serious, silly, and indeed blessed questions. For some reason I needed to be accepted by this group and they gave me more than that. They helped me realize that because I had waited so long to disclose why my hair was falling out that they were just deeply concerned. Now with the facts revealed they were at ease and supportive of my new look. I hope one day I can share with teens that our image is deeper than physical appearance and that we are the image of God.

Hiding

2006-11-12T10:23:00.004-05:00

I cannot hide it anymore. Looking back I wish I would not have been so distressed over trying to hide my hair loss. With Alopecia Areata Universalis there is a point where the balding can no longer be hidden. In my journey, I messed up when I tried to keep the condition a secret. All my life covering small bald spots was not a problem. In a state of denial, I thought I could hide the balding this time as well.

Little did I know that those around me were beginning to talk and wonder the cause of the hair loss. Then I received an email that jettisoned me into reality. Here's an excerpt:

"I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you and praying for you. If you're like me, you like to keep things as private as possible, and I respect that. I don't mean to read into anything what's going on, and I hope you don't feel like I am. ....you're in my thoughts and prayers."

I still do not know the reason why I tried to hide from those who are so dear to me. I am just so thankful for their understanding.

Dermatologist Visit

2006-11-05T12:57:00.001-05:00

My hair was falling out fast. Although knowing the hair loss was from Alopecia Areata, a hint of “this is not normal” began to resonate in my mind. I had not seen a doctor for Alopecia since pre-teenage years, but it was time to consult with a dermatologist. I wanted to get up-to-date information on the disease and see if there was anything I could do to stop the balding.

New in town, I did not have a family physician or dermatologist to consult. Friends gave recommendations, but these doctors could not see me until months down the road. I did not have time to wait 3 months for answers. I resigned to using a phonebook to find a dermatologist.

The older doctor had sweet manners and listened to my concerns. He confirmed that I did have Alopecia Areata and my body had no other ailments. His lines were the same as the ones from my childhood dermatologist. There is no cure for the hair loss and it is unknown exactly what triggers the disease. Patterns of hair loss later in life are more likely to occur if the signs of Alopecia Areata appear before puberty. There are different treatments that can be applied to the scalp to stimulate growth, but there is no scale on the effectiveness of these treatments for someone with extreme hair loss.

The doctor told a cute story of how when he was growing up all the girls would wear wigs. He found his wife quite attractive in one particular wig. This anecdote was amusing, but gave no tangible answers on what to do with my hair loss. Resigned more from not being able to obtain immediate results than from the doctor’s advice, I decided not to get a second opinion. This disease was causes no physical harm to my body and the time had come to learn to live without hair.

Everyday Headwear

2006-11-02T09:55:00.001-05:00

The old baseball caps and thin headbands tucked in the back of the closet were not suitable for wearing my thinning hairstyle. The time came for a hair supply shopping trip. Stylish hats and thick headbands were needed to cover the bald spots. Accessory stores at the mall were a great place to find different headband styles, but hats can be a little harder to find.

Buying hats are like buying bathing suits for women. Unless tried on it is hard to find the perfect fit. The problem is that retail stores do not carry a variety of hats. Although a variety of styles can be found online, it is a guessing game on how the hat will look.

When searching alopecia hats or coverings online, several sites appear that carry wraps and turbans. Some may like this style, but it does not fit my personality. The best online store I have found is Lids. Their online store has a lot more than just the team caps found at the mall. Check the Lids Label for lower priced styles and the clearance section always has new deep discounts.

For shopping in town, ask friends and family to keep an eye out during their shopping trips. The chain stores do not specialize in headwear, and finding particular styles or colors can be hard.

No Pictures Please

2006-10-25T12:50:00.001-04:00

Over the next month, I was not as willing to document what was happening to my body as I am now. There must have been somewhat of a denial as I wondered, "Could I be losing all my hair?" By this point, I could easily connect the bare dots on my scalp and my eyes were continually irritated with falling eyelashes.

"I might lose it all," crossed through my mind on more than one occasion. One of the most depressing times was trying to wash my hair. I bought NIOXIN shampoo and conditioner, which claims to improve the appearance of fine or thinning hair. This product does nothing for hair loss caused by Alopecia Areata. As the shower beat on my growingly bare scalp, the force caused the hair to fall out into my hands. I would take the clumps of hair and stick them to the side of the shower for later disposal. My bathtub drain, clogged with hair, needed regular cleaning. I knew my hair was falling out throughout the day, but taking showers were hard during this time of drastic lost.

My hair fell out everywhere. At home, work, and the gym I dismissed feeling embarrassed by rationalizing that people did not know I was losing my hair. One funny moment happened when I played a board game with my boyfriend at the time. We sat on the living room carpet and as he sorted through game pieces wads of hair were being scattered on the board. Should we play the game or braid the loose hair?

I regret not taking any pictures during this time of hair loss, but this was a really hard time for me as I struggled to hold onto single strands of hair. I look forward to the montage of future regrowth.

Lake Baldy

2006-10-18T14:26:00.001-04:00

Sweet home Alabama was calling my name and a trip home turned out to be a perfect time to show Dr. Mom that my Alopecia was doing something I had never seen before. The tiny bald spot just to the right of my part had multiplied into two more spots nearby. There were just a few tufts of hair that were keeping the three nickel size spots from forming Lake Baldy on the right side of my head. Alopecia may take this multi-occurring form, Alopecia Areata Multilocularis, but it had never happened to me before.

My mom eased my concerns and said that this was part of Alopecia. She advised me to see a dermatologist after the vacation and I agreed that I would if I started to loose more. I had not seen a doctor for my Alopecia since my initial diagnosis. Treatments like steroid shots in the scalp never seemed like a needed option when I could just cover the balding and wait for re-growth, but the amount of hair loss left me with a lot of questions about Alopecia.

Foreshadow

2006-09-12T01:29:00.000-04:00

Sometime in a phone conversation with a good friend I brought up that Alopecia was affecting me again and that I was losing some of my hair. Looking back there was so much foreshadowing in this conversation. I expressed how lucky I was to be a girl with long hair. A guy might have to shave all his hair to hide his bald spot, but I could easily cover it. Up until this point in my life Alopecia was really no big deal. I treated it more as a secret peculiarity than anything to be concerned with, but how does a woman deal with total hair loss? This would be something I would struggle with in the coming months.

The Beginning

2006-08-07T21:28:00.000-04:00

After moving north for a new job a year ago, I noticed a tiny bare spot starting to form on top of my head. This was the beginning of my body's battle with Alopecia Areata Universalis, which results in the loss of all body hair. At the time, I shrugged off the bald spot as a normal occurrence of Alopecia Areata, baldness in one spot on the head, which I had lived with from childhood. The summer was ending and there would be no worries about anyone catching a glimpse of the bald spot after a swim. I forgot about the small bald spot in the days that followed.

Definition

2006-06-01T20:54:00.000-04:00

Here are some commonly asked questions about alopecia. Most answers can be found at WebMD.

What is alopecia areata?
Alopecia areata is an auto-immune disease causing hair loss when your immune system mistakenly attacks hair follicles. Experts do not know why the immune system attacks the follicles.

What happens in alopecia areata?
Alopecia areata usually begins when clumps of hair fall out, resulting in totally smooth, round hairless patches on the scalp. Hair usually grows back.

What are the different types of alopecia areata?
The 2 most common types are:
1) Alopecia areata monolocularis is baldness in only one spot. It may occur anywhere on the head.
2) Alopecia areata multilocularis is baldness in multiple areas of the head.
The 2 rare types are:
1) Alopecia areata totalis is loss of all the hair on the scalp.
2) Alopecia areata universalis is loss of all body hair.

What is the cause of alopecia areata?
No cause has been determined. Alopecia areata is not contagious. Heredity may be a factor.

How is alopecia areata diagnosed?
Alopecia areata is diagnosed through a medical history and physical examination. The doctor may tug on a few hairs. Blood tests may also be used to rule out any other conditions.

How is it treated?
Because hair usually grows back, some decide not to treat alopecia areata. The most common treatment for patchy hair loss is many injections of corticosteroids into the scalp.

How will alopecia areata affect my life?
Alopecia areata is not painful, it does not make you feel sick, and it does not result in serious health problems. Hair loss can have a psychological affect on people.

Childhood Hair Cuts

1997-01-12T13:31:00.000-05:00

Getting hair cuts as a kid seemed a little weird for me. My mom did not know that I would rather not get a trim because of fear of not being able to cover the bald spot. I did get over this as I grew up, but I still remember the hidden anxiety a hair cut caused.

The ordeal of going to get a haircut basically consisted of two parts. First, was telling the stylist that I had Alopecia. She would then smile and start the trimming process. Second, there would be an exclamation of "Oh, you do have it," on the discovery of a bald spot or a discussion of how she could see the baby hairs growing back. Eventually the conversation would drift to how lucky I was to be a girl with thick hair.

Alfalfa

1996-01-21T16:56:00.000-05:00

"Look at the Alfalfa." This was always a funny Little Rascal's anecdote around the dinner table. In 8th grade, I started growing my first "Alfalfa". My definition of alfalfa: baby hair growth around the top part line that sticks straight up in the air.

Around age 13 I lost about a half-dollar size patch of hair on my part line. At first I freaked out. People were going to see the very noticeable bald spot. My mom, my styling consultant even today, showed me how to part my hair slightly to the right to cover the spot. The balding was even unnoticeable in a pony tail because of my thick hair.

With eventual re-growth came my first "Alfalfa". The hair had nowhere to grow accept up. As funny as it was, I still did not want to stand out too much at school. Styling gel easily kept the hair down. Gels turned out to be a miracle potion during future re-growth periods.

The affects of alopecia areata could have really affected my psyche going into high school, but because of a cute "Alfalfa" my perspective on the disease remained light. This post is in memory of my first "Alfalfa" and for the ways it made me laugh.

Teenage friend support

1995-09-29T18:01:00.001-04:00

The secret was passed along today. I showed one of my best school friends a bald spot on the back of my head. The response, "Can I touch it?" The bald spot that alopecia areata creates is truly that, a bald spot. It doesn't look like a receding hair line or thinning hair. The spot is as smooth as a baby's bottom and quite symmetrical.

Other than a little shocked at the bald spot my friend really didn't have a response to the secret. I tried to explain what the disease entailed, but at that age I really did not even know much about it. After the reaction of "Can I feel it?" most people jump to "Will it grow back?" or "Does it hurt?"

By the time I attended college, I had only shared my secret with ten or so close friends. A rule among friends is that if you have something green in your front teeth, then you notify the person immediately. The rule was expanded in my case. My friends were on the lookout for the times when my hair folded in a way to reveal a bald spot. Their support in keeping me from having to explain my situation to a classroom of teasing teens was invaluable.

We have all gone in different ways now, but their way of protecting my sensitivities turned out to be an awesome blessing. Thank you.

Shave what?

1994-10-18T16:36:00.000-04:00

In the pre-teen years, the locker-room talk centered around changing bodies and boys. One day a girl was talking about needing to shave her legs and several others chimed in at the hassle of the process. I felt like I was missing out on something and asked my mom to teach me how to shave. In a kind way, she said, "shave what?"

I'm not sure how alopecia connects to my slow hair growth in the growing up years, but it did seem like everyone knew how to use a razor and I did not. The boys were shaving baby facial stubble and the girls were trying to get silky smooth legs. Thankfully my mom helped me to understand that shaving was a timely burden.

Through the years my friends echoed how blessed I was not to have to shave every other day. No need for a razor as my luxury item on reality show Survivor. I give two thumbs up for only having to shave occasionally.

Diagnosed

1993-03-01T20:16:00.000-05:00

Sometime in Junior High my family doctor told my mom and I that I had a funny sounding disease. He easily pulled off a piece of my hair from the affected area and looked at the texture of my fingernails which further confirmed that I had Alopecia Areata. He had to say the words a couple of times for us to understand the pronunciation. Alopecia Areata (al-oh-PEE-shah air-ee-AH-tah). It took me years to say "Areata" right, but of course the word does not come up in everyday conversation.

What did this diagnosis mean to a pre-teen? Short term answers. The dime size bald spot on my head was no longer a mystery and nothing to be alarmed over. My thick hair easily covered the bald spot and the doctor said the hair would probably grow back. I also had disease with a cool name. Strep throat or bronchitis may get me a milkshake, but having a disease draws attention from the family.

My youthful attitude kept me from analyzing the doctor's long-term description of the disease. No harm for now and the affects would be unnoticed by peers. The bald spot became a quick fixation for bored class periods. Discretely rubbing my finger over the smooth scalp was the equivalent of twirling my hair. I found myself looking at the mirror more to check on the spot and within a year the hair did grow back. Living with a weird disease quickly went out of thought.