No Pictures Please

Over the next month, I was not as willing to document what was happening to my body as I am now. There must have been somewhat of a denial as I wondered, "Could I be losing all my hair?" By this point, I could easily connect the bare dots on my scalp and my eyes were continually irritated with falling eyelashes.

"I might lose it all," crossed through my mind on more than one occasion. One of the most depressing times was trying to wash my hair. I bought NIOXIN shampoo and conditioner, which claims to improve the appearance of fine or thinning hair. This product does nothing for hair loss caused by Alopecia Areata. As the shower beat on my growingly bare scalp, the force caused the hair to fall out into my hands. I would take the clumps of hair and stick them to the side of the shower for later disposal. My bathtub drain, clogged with hair, needed regular cleaning. I knew my hair was falling out throughout the day, but taking showers were hard during this time of drastic lost.

My hair fell out everywhere. At home, work, and the gym I dismissed feeling embarrassed by rationalizing that people did not know I was losing my hair. One funny moment happened when I played a board game with my boyfriend at the time. We sat on the living room carpet and as he sorted through game pieces wads of hair were being scattered on the board. Should we play the game or braid the loose hair?

I regret not taking any pictures during this time of hair loss, but this was a really hard time for me as I struggled to hold onto single strands of hair. I look forward to the montage of future regrowth.