Our Wedding Day

So much can be said about our special day....our wedding day! A joyous celebration with family, friends, and a man who knows my heart. We could not have asked for a more beautiful and spirit-filled event.

I lead a "bald life" on average 363 days out of the year. I went back and forth on whether to wear a wig on my wedding day. I was not living in my hometown when I lost my hair. Most of my family knows me with hair and it takes a little getting used to for them when I go home for visits.

The decision basically came down to my preference of going bald versus my grandmother's comfort. This wonderful lady is 90 years old and does not understand why I would not wear a wig. She absolutely loves seeing me in a wig. In the culture in which she grew up wearing wigs was common. When my grandmother first saw me in my veil and wedding dress, I knew we had made the right decision. It wasn't just my day. It was a day for all of my loved ones.

I have many memorable moments from having hair on my wedding day.
A 4 year old friend spinning around the bridal shop while trying on my veil.

My mom and little sister picking out my wig and coloring.

My groom not being able to find me during some pre-wedding day festivities. He always looks for the bald one.

Getting my hair pre-done for the wedding. Not many can say that.

The excitement of spending a morning with my bridesmaids at the salon getting an up do, drawing on eyebrows, and applying eyelashes. Some wonderful moments with a talented stylist and childhood friend.

The look on the groom's face seeing me for the first time. I don't even remember what he said.

After an hour of photos, the photographer saying, "Do you want to take your wig off for these next shots?" An exhilarating moment.

Sitting in an air conditioned room before the ceremony I was able to "let my hair down". Wig in the corner, feet propped up.

Taking pictures with friends at the reception only to hear, "Wait a minute. This isn't right." The next thing I knew we were having a bald photo shoot.

And finally, my husband taking off the wig at the end of the night and telling me I look beautiful.

I am so blessed that I am accepted as a beautiful bald lady in today's society. In the end, I am continuing to learn it is not what you look like that matters. With hair or without, what does matter is how you share your heart with others.
Wedding Day Slideshow
Wedding Day Photos

The Sharpie Marker

On the last day of school this year, I was sitting against lockers signing students' yearbooks. A student comes up to me and says, "What would you do if I wrote on your head?" I was half paying attention and shrugged my shoulders with a little laugh. The next thing I know a smiley face was being drawn on my head. So started the line of kids waiting to make a mark on my bald head. A day I'll never forget and a testimony to how comfortable these students have become with someone who is a little different. I love these kids!

Engagement Photos

A fun afternoon with a fiance who loves my bald head. Click to view the slideshow. http://bykellyandjustinproofing.com/ss/thompson0410/

Kelly & Justin Photography, Elkhart, IN

3 steps back

Scene: Dining-in at a fast food restaurant. 8 year old or so boy bounces past my table. He takes 3 steps backward and stops. Deep stare. I smile. He bounces on with balloon in hand.

Hopefully he'll become a little more discreet in the future or at least stop long enough for me to explain that yes, I am a bald girl.

Big grin.

141 days until our wedding

141 days until....our wedding!!! I've wanted to write a post about my fiancé for several months now. To share with this community the man who loves every part of me--the man who even loves that I do not have hair.

It is truly hard to put all of my thoughts into words. When I chose to not wear a wig, the biggest fear I had was dating. You can read some of my past insecurities in "Dating...Is it the hair?" and "Blind Date". "Do you wear a wig on the first date", "when do you tell the guy", or "would a guy even ask out the bald lady" were just some of my concerns. There were continual challenges and fears that arose.

Then one day, when I least expected, it happened. I met a man who would soon pray, "God let me see her as you see her." We met on a rare occasion when I was wearing a blond wig (later he told me that he did not remember what color hair I had). I told him over the phone that I had Alopecia and was bald. I really did not think he would ever call me back. Then, the next night the phone rang.

For our first date, I told him that I was not going to wear a wig. We were both noticeably anxious. I did not know what he would think of my smooth scalp and he did not know how he was going to react.

I have not worn a wig in his company since we first met. Actually, he's worn the wig more than I have. :) Sometimes I ask, "What would you think if my hair ever grew back?" His response is always, "I'd shave it off when you weren't looking."

I did not fall in love with this man simply because he accepted that I was bald. I love this man because from the beginning he went to God asking for help. Asking to see me through God's eyes and not with false judgment.

There are a lot of unknowns surrounding this journey with Alopecia. I am very thankful for all those in my life and in my fiancé's life who have affirmed our faith and guided us to a Godly perception. We are in awe of the beauty of our relationship and encourage all to be slow to judge.

Creative Introduction

This Sunday after Church a young girl came up to me and wanted to introduce me to her friend. The girl informatively said, "she has the other type of chemo." It was so hard for me not to giggle. My little friend knew I wasn't sick, and she constructed a creative introduction.

Things Alopecians Like #13

Making fun of your boyfriend because he's going bald.

Pharmacy Drive-Thru

I pulled up to the pharmacy drive-thru and the clerk asked for my name. She came back and forth to the window getting various information. After all the formalities she said, "you know, there's not a lot of women who can pull that off."

People look at you once, then twice, and most likely a third time before going about their business. But I'm very thankful for the few that stop and take a moment to make me smile.

That's the wrong door

I was walking into a public restroom at McDonald's and a lady across the room shouts, "That's the wrong door!" I immediately look at the sign on the door with a lady's icon. It was so hard for me not to laugh. I turned around, with my pearl earrings, gave her a smile and walked into the restroom. Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Hey that girl is....

BALD! I get so tickled when a little kid points out to their mom or dad that I am bald. The look of terror on the parent's face, the intense stare of the child, and a little smile from me make a great moment. I could probably count at least 15 times in the past month that a child has pointed out my baldness. These kids have truly lightened my soul and slowed me down in such a fast paced world. We often ignore things that need to be seen around us, but a lot can be learned from a child's perception.

Things Alopecians Like #12

A bandanna tan from not wearing sunscreen.
(This isn't really a like, but it makes people laugh when you're walking around with a bandanna tan)

Vegas ER

This summer I did some service projects in Las Vegas. One night I had to go to the emergency room with a friend who had a minor ailment. I sat across from a lady who was in scrubs and had noticeable bandages all over her body. I gave a little smile and she said, "I bet not having hair makes it cooler outside." I'm not sure if hair calculates when the temperature is 120 degrees F. We both laughed and she asked me what happened to my hair. In the middle of my alopecia explanation it hit me on how this lady was suffering, truly suffering, and yet her concern was about me. I forget what others may perceive of me in certain situations. Emergency Room + Bald Girl = Really Sick.
I've learned a lot these last few years about staying open to conversations with those who ask about my hair. I'm thankful for that night's conversation.

Dating...Is it the hair?

The biggest obstacle in my life is the overcritical thought process of myself. People say my bald look is beautiful and I believe I am beautiful. However, I still fight with stupid analysis of personal "flaws".

I started thinking about how I haven't been on a date in a year. Then, I quickly blamed it on being bald and the difference between acceptance and attraction. The thoughts quickly spiraled into despair. It's amazing how much easier it is to lie in despair, which is harder on the body, then to embrace hope for the future.

The bald card is a simple excuse. When in reality, the right circumstances have just not come together. Do I want someone to fall in love with my wig or with my personality? My brushed-in eyebrows or my intelligence? My fake eyelashes or my zeal for life?

I am so thankful for the way in which Alopecia has empowered my walk. Next time I hope to be less critical of my looks and more captivated by the challenge that lies ahead.

Take Off That Hat

At the end of my meal, the waitress says with a big smile, "Take off that hat!" I'm not sure why I chose to wear a hat today, but her statement was a pleasant surprise.

I have chosen to "live bald". No wigs and occasional hats. When I first lost all my hair, I wondered what strangers thought of my choice to go bald--can she not afford a wig or she must be really sick. But now I am so comfortable being bald and sharing my life with alopecia.

My encounter with the waitress was so very refreshing. One of her co-workers has alopecia. The conversation that continued made me feel so beautiful. I was not able to meet the lady who had alopecia, but I passed on AlopeciaWorld.com.

Things Alopecians Like #11

Jogging on a windy day = no problem

Do you have Alopecia?

"Do you have Alopecia?" For the first time a stranger asked me this. Usually the question is "do you have cancer?" or something similar.

While loading groceries into my car, a van pulls up with the window down. I smiled at the two women in the car trying to figure out if I knew them. Then they asked the question and a wonderful conversation about alopecia followed. Their 7 year old granddaughter does not have hair. They took my picture to show the child.

A neat experience.

A Grandmother's Wig

I work with elementary students several times a week. Today, with the sweetest sincerity, a child told me that her grandmother has several wigs I can borrow. I told her that I preferred to not wear wigs. She asked why and I said they're itchy. She laughed and her loving smile was priceless.

Some days I do wonder why I don't wear wigs. I have no regrets for deciding not to cover the hair loss. It's just a continual process of embracing who I am. Today, I deeply value the sweetness of a child's thoughts.

Things Alopecians Like #10

Frizz-be-gone:
"Freedom from "frizz" drama! No matter rain, wind, humidity, etc..."

Thanks Sandy (Alopecia World)!

Things Alopecians Like #9

No more coat zipper drama. No hair, no worries.

Smoothly ringing in the New Year

Celebrating another new year with a smooth scalp leaves me filled with mixed emotions. In October, I started growing little patches of baby hair. This was so exciting. Then, the hair started to fall out again. No!! I was so very hopeful this time. The hair was going to grow back!

Calming down I remember how beautiful God has made me. Although the hair is not growing I have so much hope in the new year. Not only in eventually having a head full of hair, but also in helping others understand life with Alopecia.

Happy New year to my bald buddies and prayers for confidence on who we are--Bald and Beautiful!