December 31, 2006

Church Reaction

Some heard through the vine why I was loosing my hair and others observed something was happening to my hair. I remember the cute snow white wool cap that I wore that day to Church. There were several hundred people in attendance and as I found a seat, friends gave me warm smiles and commented on my cap. Worship was great and gave me so much encouragement on the blessings that God would provide through my baldness.

After the service, many came towards me. Prayer warriors, cancer survivors, and friendly faces all made sure everything was alright. I have such a deep respect for this family of believers. I tried so hard to hide my balding and although many probably wondered what was going on they respected my privacy until it was time to share. When I did share, their support was indescribably beautiful.

December 29, 2006

To Wig or Not To Wig

During this Alopecia journey, deciding not to wear a wig was probably the best decision I made. I am the first to admit that I am not a wig expert. I do not like the way wigs look or feel. I know they are invaluable pieces for some, but having spent most of my life hiding bald spots I have chosen to “show off” my bald head. I usually wear some type of cap in public and sometimes just go out bald. I have not bought any special makeup for eyebrows or artificial eyelashes. I basically let God’s light and my smile carry my beauty.

December 28, 2006

Work Reaction

Not having a wig and tired of hiding my balding, I went to work with a baseball cap over my freshly shaven head. The first person to see me had once lost her hair from cancer. The sincere caring response kept me brave. The rest of the day was spent answering questions. Someone asked a neat question, “Who did you shave your head for?” I would like to think that I would shave my head in support of a friend. That one question really put everything in perspective for me. My change in appearance was nothing compared to those battling with terminal illnesses.

As the months went on, some still did not understand the concept of Alopecia Areata. Questions like “When are you going to grow your hair back?” were sometimes asked. My response was usually a smile and a simple, “When I can.” Others would ask me to take my cap off and say, “That is so cool.” Since I’ve chosen not to wear a wig, I sometimes wonder if new employees assume I’m battling cancer or if they ask others to find out my true condition. A neat part about my company is that although I do work with the public no one in management has ever hinted for or asked me to wear a wig or cover my baldness.

December 26, 2006

The Big Shave

The time had come for the big shave. My family, in town for Christmas, was surprised at how little hair remained. I had been contemplating shaving the remaining hair on my head, and with my mom’s comforting touch now was the time.

First scissors, then the razor, slowly watching my hair, the few stronghold pieces fall to the ground. My mom’s patience and love kept me strong. That moment in my journey with Alopecia areata universalis left me so liberated from the burden of loss. I no longer had to watch the hair disappear from my head. I was free to embrace the baldness.

November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving dinner

What’s on the menu for Thanksgiving dinner? Maybe some of my hair. I felt like I was on the set of I Love Lucy while preparing a small holiday meal for some friends. The goal of home cooked meals is to create hmmm mmm goodness. My goal was to keep the hair out of the dressing. Not having hair to pull into a ponytail, I wrapped it around a bandana and hoped there would be no surprises for my guests. The meal preparation was very funny and a cooking experience not to be forgotten.

November 19, 2006

Blessed Questions

The time came to ease the concerns of some of the youth that I worked with at Church. At one of the gatherings, I brought up the obvious fact that my hair was thinning and I went on to describe the cause of the hair loss. They respectfully listened to the story as I awkwardly fumbled through the details.

The talk was not motivational on how God was making me better through the experience of hair loss. I did not yet know how God would work through me, but the youth group's response was much needed. They asked serious, silly, and indeed blessed questions. For some reason I needed to be accepted by this group and they gave me more than that. They helped me realize that because I had waited so long to disclose why my hair was falling out that they were just deeply concerned. Now with the facts revealed they were at ease and supportive of my new look. I hope one day I can share with teens that our image is deeper than physical appearance and that we are the image of God.

November 12, 2006

Hiding

I cannot hide it anymore. Looking back I wish I would not have been so distressed over trying to hide my hair loss. With Alopecia Areata Universalis there is a point where the balding can no longer be hidden. In my journey, I messed up when I tried to keep the condition a secret. All my life covering small bald spots was not a problem. In a state of denial, I thought I could hide the balding this time as well.

Little did I know that those around me were beginning to talk and wonder the cause of the hair loss. Then I received an email that jettisoned me into reality. Here's an excerpt:

"I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you and praying for you. If you're like me, you like to keep things as private as possible, and I respect that. I don't mean to read into anything what's going on, and I hope you don't feel like I am. ....you're in my thoughts and prayers."

I still do not know the reason why I tried to hide from those who are so dear to me. I am just so thankful for their understanding.

November 05, 2006

Dermatologist Visit

My hair was falling out fast. Although knowing the hair loss was from Alopecia Areata, a hint of “this is not normal” began to resonate in my mind. I had not seen a doctor for Alopecia since pre-teenage years, but it was time to consult with a dermatologist. I wanted to get up-to-date information on the disease and see if there was anything I could do to stop the balding.

New in town, I did not have a family physician or dermatologist to consult. Friends gave recommendations, but these doctors could not see me until months down the road. I did not have time to wait 3 months for answers. I resigned to using a phonebook to find a dermatologist.

The older doctor had sweet manners and listened to my concerns. He confirmed that I did have Alopecia Areata and my body had no other ailments. His lines were the same as the ones from my childhood dermatologist. There is no cure for the hair loss and it is unknown exactly what triggers the disease. Patterns of hair loss later in life are more likely to occur if the signs of Alopecia Areata appear before puberty. There are different treatments that can be applied to the scalp to stimulate growth, but there is no scale on the effectiveness of these treatments for someone with extreme hair loss.

The doctor told a cute story of how when he was growing up all the girls would wear wigs. He found his wife quite attractive in one particular wig. This anecdote was amusing, but gave no tangible answers on what to do with my hair loss. Resigned more from not being able to obtain immediate results than from the doctor’s advice, I decided not to get a second opinion. This disease was causes no physical harm to my body and the time had come to learn to live without hair.

November 02, 2006

Everyday Headwear

The old baseball caps and thin headbands tucked in the back of the closet were not suitable for wearing my thinning hairstyle. The time came for a hair supply shopping trip. Stylish hats and thick headbands were needed to cover the bald spots. Accessory stores at the mall were a great place to find different headband styles, but hats can be a little harder to find.

Buying hats are like buying bathing suits for women. Unless tried on it is hard to find the perfect fit. The problem is that retail stores do not carry a variety of hats. Although a variety of styles can be found online, it is a guessing game on how the hat will look.

When searching alopecia hats or coverings online, several sites appear that carry wraps and turbans. Some may like this style, but it does not fit my personality. The best online store I have found is Lids. Their online store has a lot more than just the team caps found at the mall. Check the Lids Label for lower priced styles and the clearance section always has new deep discounts.

For shopping in town, ask friends and family to keep an eye out during their shopping trips. The chain stores do not specialize in headwear, and finding particular styles or colors can be hard.

October 25, 2006

No Pictures Please

Over the next month, I was not as willing to document what was happening to my body as I am now. There must have been somewhat of a denial as I wondered, "Could I be losing all my hair?" By this point, I could easily connect the bare dots on my scalp and my eyes were continually irritated with falling eyelashes.

"I might lose it all," crossed through my mind on more than one occasion. One of the most depressing times was trying to wash my hair. I bought NIOXIN shampoo and conditioner, which claims to improve the appearance of fine or thinning hair. This product does nothing for hair loss caused by Alopecia Areata. As the shower beat on my growingly bare scalp, the force caused the hair to fall out into my hands. I would take the clumps of hair and stick them to the side of the shower for later disposal. My bathtub drain, clogged with hair, needed regular cleaning. I knew my hair was falling out throughout the day, but taking showers were hard during this time of drastic lost.

My hair fell out everywhere. At home, work, and the gym I dismissed feeling embarrassed by rationalizing that people did not know I was losing my hair. One funny moment happened when I played a board game with my boyfriend at the time. We sat on the living room carpet and as he sorted through game pieces wads of hair were being scattered on the board. Should we play the game or braid the loose hair?

I regret not taking any pictures during this time of hair loss, but this was a really hard time for me as I struggled to hold onto single strands of hair. I look forward to the montage of future regrowth.

October 18, 2006

Lake Baldy

Sweet home Alabama was calling my name and a trip home turned out to be a perfect time to show Dr. Mom that my Alopecia was doing something I had never seen before. The tiny bald spot just to the right of my part had multiplied into two more spots nearby. There were just a few tufts of hair that were keeping the three nickel size spots from forming Lake Baldy on the right side of my head. Alopecia may take this multi-occurring form, Alopecia Areata Multilocularis, but it had never happened to me before.

My mom eased my concerns and said that this was part of Alopecia. She advised me to see a dermatologist after the vacation and I agreed that I would if I started to loose more. I had not seen a doctor for my Alopecia since my initial diagnosis. Treatments like steroid shots in the scalp never seemed like a needed option when I could just cover the balding and wait for re-growth, but the amount of hair loss left me with a lot of questions about Alopecia.

September 12, 2006

Foreshadow

Sometime in a phone conversation with a good friend I brought up that Alopecia was affecting me again and that I was losing some of my hair. Looking back there was so much foreshadowing in this conversation. I expressed how lucky I was to be a girl with long hair. A guy might have to shave all his hair to hide his bald spot, but I could easily cover it. Up until this point in my life Alopecia was really no big deal. I treated it more as a secret peculiarity than anything to be concerned with, but how does a woman deal with total hair loss? This would be something I would struggle with in the coming months.

August 07, 2006

The Beginning

After moving north for a new job a year ago, I noticed a tiny bare spot starting to form on top of my head. This was the beginning of my body's battle with Alopecia Areata Universalis, which results in the loss of all body hair. At the time, I shrugged off the bald spot as a normal occurrence of Alopecia Areata, baldness in one spot on the head, which I had lived with from childhood. The summer was ending and there would be no worries about anyone catching a glimpse of the bald spot after a swim. I forgot about the small bald spot in the days that followed.

June 01, 2006

Definition

Here are some commonly asked questions about alopecia. Most answers can be found at WebMD.

What is alopecia areata?
Alopecia areata is an auto-immune disease causing hair loss when your immune system mistakenly attacks hair follicles. Experts do not know why the immune system attacks the follicles.

What happens in alopecia areata?
Alopecia areata usually begins when clumps of hair fall out, resulting in totally smooth, round hairless patches on the scalp. Hair usually grows back.

What are the different types of alopecia areata?
The 2 most common types are:
1) Alopecia areata monolocularis is baldness in only one spot. It may occur anywhere on the head.
2) Alopecia areata multilocularis is baldness in multiple areas of the head.
The 2 rare types are:
1) Alopecia areata totalis is loss of all the hair on the scalp.
2) Alopecia areata universalis is loss of all body hair.

What is the cause of alopecia areata?
No cause has been determined. Alopecia areata is not contagious. Heredity may be a factor.

How is alopecia areata diagnosed?
Alopecia areata is diagnosed through a medical history and physical examination. The doctor may tug on a few hairs. Blood tests may also be used to rule out any other conditions.

How is it treated?
Because hair usually grows back, some decide not to treat alopecia areata. The most common treatment for patchy hair loss is many injections of corticosteroids into the scalp.

How will alopecia areata affect my life?
Alopecia areata is not painful, it does not make you feel sick, and it does not result in serious health problems. Hair loss can have a psychological affect on people.