Things Alopecians Like #8

Carefree cooking! No worries about stray hair falling into the main dish.

2008 Photos

Photos taken with Alopecia Areata Universalis.

Kids are so honest

I enjoy interacting with kids. They say the cutest things, and quite honestly their inquisitive minds are refreshing. In two separate occasions this week I was quite frankly told, "You don't have any hair." I wonder what processing goes through a 4 year old brain when encountering an Alopecian.

These kids were a blessing to me this week. I've been questioning my decision to live bald instead of wearing a wig. A wig would make me look more normal and perhaps provide comfort in some situations. But is wearing a wig who I really am. I know I don't fit into the mold of a normal looking woman, but these kids reaffirm my decision to walk bald. They could have said you look weird or funny, but instead they told me who I am. Bald and beautiful.

Mirror, mirror

Shortly after the initial hair loss, I went through a short period of scalp regrowth, then it fell out again. I found this entry from my personal journal this morning. This was written 4 months after losing all my hair........

.....I wandered by the mirror today and you’ll never guess what I saw. So you guessed. I saw my reflection. Do you have to walk by a mirror to know what you look like? No. I knew when I looked into the glass that I would see a familiar face with deep blue eyes and ears that poke out a bit. A face with a small scar on the forehead that most people don’t notice; mom told me to stop itching my chicken pox.
A mirror is not needed to show me what I know is already there, but what happens when your reflection changes. Each time I walked by the mirror noticeable white skin was taking the place of my thick brown hair. By the third month, the skin was as smooth as a baby’s bald head. Maybe if I wander away from the mirror and then try a glimpse again the image that I knew would appear.

Rewind 15 years, as a child I was told that I had an immune disease that caused hair loss. The doctor said there was a potential that I could one day loose it all, but you never think worse case scenario.

For a time, walking by a mirror was needed to discover what I looked like.
My hair is slowly growing back now. Leaving me speechless by this time in my life. What I can put into words is that my mistakes this past year have been grand, and to see my heart being renewed is amazing.

Baby Hair

Teeny, tiny, itty, bitty, blonde hair is starting to pop up on my scalp. I'm very happy, but do not know if this is a sign of total regrowth. The hair is in patches and not very visible. I am still thankful that I have not used medication or injections to make my hair grow. There are so many unknowns with alopecia. Although forcing my body to grow hair through medication would be easy, the body could fight back and not receive the growth. A glimmer of hope and a prayer of patience as I wait to see how what my body does with this new growth.

Things Alopecians Like #7

Guys, This one's for you: No need for ear or nose hair grooming.

Locks of love

I approached a teenager today who had cut off her long hair. I told her the new style looked cute and she said that she donated the hair to Locks of Love. My heart warmed for this child's compassion. Locks of Love is an organization that provides hairpieces to children who are suffering from hair loss. I am blessed to have lost all my hair in adulthood, but I am still thankful for the way people show love to kids that are struggling. Maybe one day I can grow my hair back and donate it to help this worthy organization.

Things Alopecians Like #6

A timeless hairstyle. Looking in a photo album 20 years from now, no one will ask, "What were you thinking with that hairstyle?"

Blind Date

After losing all my hair, my boyfriend shaved his head. I only hope that I can support someone like he did for me. We've since moved apart and I've been on 2 blind dates. My friends are so sweet to try to set me up, but it is hard to be Bald & Single. On a normal first date I spend a good amount of time figuring out what to wear. This is a usual female ritual. An extra anxiety always creeps into my head. To wig or not to wig.

The guy will inevitably learn that I'm bald and that I'm comfortable without a wig. However, will wearing the wig on the first couple of dates add to the comfort level of both? I know there is no definite answer and it depends on the situation, but I wanted to share my two experiences.

The first blind date I was so anxious during the entire evening that I could not even enjoy the company. A very selfish experience on my part. By the end of the evening, I had told him that I had Alopecia, was wearing a wig, and I did not know when or if the hair would grow back. I left him in a confused state. Lesson 1: Life is not all about me. Wearing a wig is not a form of dishonesty and does not have to be explained on the first date.

The second blind date I decided to wear the wig again, but to relax and enjoy the evening. After an enjoyable first date and several nice conversations, my brain began to race again. When do I tell him that I'm bald? It is such a distracting question. I finally told him on the third date. His response was silence followed by, "I think I knew someone in school with Alopecia." He engagingly listened to my explanation of the disease and I showed him my driver's license picture. License pictures are never flattering but it is the only pre-hairloss photo I always have with me. We saw each other a few more times and he decided to just be friends. Lesson 2: Don't be so anxious about the man's response, embrace the experience in meeting someone new, and look forward to someone falling in love with you for who you are.

I will not lie. The fear of not being given a chance because I'm bald does creep in. However, that is a selfish lie contrived in my head. I look forward to future dates and to discovering how others see beauty.

Finger Hair!

I discovered finger hair today. It was like an infant realizing that she has hands and feet. Alopecia Universalis affects the entire body. There has not been hair on my body for almost 2 years. My friends may laugh as I stare intently for little blond hair between my knuckles, but it's the little things that I used to take for granted that I'm rediscovering. Maybe this is a sign of complete regrowth.

Things Alopecians Like #5

A no hassle look after a summer swim.

Things Alopecians Like #4

Compliments on your beautiful hair hi-lights when you're wearing a low maintenance wig.

Things Alopecians Like #3

A ready-to-go look after a convertible ride.

Things Alopecians Like #2

Sporting a bald look at Disney equals front row seats on Splash Mountain.

Things Alopecians Like #1

Not having wet hair when the electricity goes out.

Video Store Guy

I really like the video store down the street. Great prices, convenient, and the video store guy rocks. When living with Alopecia, I often think that few people understand what I’m going through. Yes, I have tremendous support from family and friends, but it’s rare that you run into a stranger that understands.

Many months ago I noticed an employee at the video store who had a small nickel-shaped bald spot. I knew immediately he had some form of Alopecia, but I was not bold enough to bring up the subject. Saying I wasn’t bold is kind of funny. Here I was walking around the video store completely bald. The months went by and I noticed he had more bald spots and was shaving his head. Now I want to talk to him, but the lines are always long or someone needs his help.

Today, I finally got the moment to connect. We had a short conversation about our Alopecia journeys from childhood. We decided that I would pray that all his hair would fall out so he didn’t have to shave anymore, and he would pray that my hair would come back. How funny is that. A brief, but warming connection that I hope will spark future conversations and support.

Alopecia World

Alopecia World is an amazing place to connect. Chat, blogs, photos, and videos are just a few features of this site. Besides being nicely designed, this site offers support that I wish I would have had all my life.

Alopecia World is a new social networking site for people living with hair loss, their loved ones and friends. Join today for support, to encourage others, make new friends, or perhaps meet the love of your life. It's 100% free! (alopeciaworld.com)

Please check out the site. Thank you Alopecia World for giving all of us a chance to share our unique lives!!

Second Doctor's Visit

In another post, I talked about not having a regular family doctor and how hard it was for me to visit a doctor. Another bug recently weakened my body, and with unfamiliar symptoms a doctor's visit was necessary.

I'm proud to say that my past fears of what a doctor might say about my baldness were gone. I not only went to a walk-in clinic, but also did not wear a wig. The symptoms were discussed, a diagnoses given, and no mention of the baldness.

Do not fear what others may think or say. Your reflection is yours. Embrace the beauty. A recurring theme of my experience with Alopecia.

Have a nice day SIR

A big smile to the greeter at Wal-Mart; the older man does try hard to communicate niceties to the busy rush of people. We made eye contact as I was pushing my cart out the door and he said, "Have a nice day SIR." This normal phrase brought a crush to my feminine heart.

I’ve often wondered how often people mistake me for a guy--especially in the winter time when bulky clothes loose gender specificity. I even have it in my head that if I wear big hoop earrings and heavier makeup I cannot be mistaken.

Still there are those moments like in Wal-Mart where someone does mistake me for a guy. An awkward correction follows or my gender remains mistaken. The essence of my womanhood does not want to be called sir. Just when I think I'm strong enough to accept the beauty of my image a simple mistake wounds my heart.

The biggest goal for me right now is not to get too frustrated by my sinking reaction to the word sir. In other words, I am allowed to experience a heart squeeze in the image healing process. Don’t get frustrated with your frustrations for in these moments a great strength can arise.

Helpful Resources

An updated list of helpful sites. Please comment this post with more links.

resources
National Alopecia Areata Foundation
WebMD
Team Alopecia
Her Hair Loss Help
Children's Hair Loss Project
Headz Up

alopecians
Alopecia World
Alopecia And Love
Bold Beauty Is Being Beautifully You
Women's Hair Loss Project
Crowned Regal
Alopecia Areata Support Community
Bald Girls Do Lunch
Her Alopecia

wigs & coverings
Locks Of Love
Wigs.com
Headcovers Unlimited
Lids

Hair Dryer Be Gone

By far one of the best things about not having hair is the maintenance-free look. I save an hour everyday not having to blow dry and straighten my thick hair. I cannot exactly tell you what I do with that time, but today I did spend an hour with a hair dryer. My roommate’s dryer shorted out and I volunteered to run to the store to pick up a new one. Once there I realized how funny it was for the bald lady to be picking up a hair dryer. So I did like most do and picked up a few other things not to bring attention to the funny purchase. The cashier gave me a sweet grin when the hair dryer rolled up on the conveyer belt.

The story has one more twist. Back at the apartment, we discovered that I had picked up the exact hair dryer that my roommate did not want. Little did I know there were hair dryer user preferences. I reluctantly agreed to exchange the dryer. Now I’m in the return line; a bald girl, a hair dryer, and a big cheesy grin on my face. This was followed by another hair dryer purchase and cashier experience before rescuing my roommate from her wet hair. My interesting afternoon led to a continued thankfulness for not having to use a hair dryer on a daily basis.

Compassionate Question

How long have you been on chemotherapy? A few words making up a simple question said with the most compassionate eyes. After a nice morning of snow skiing, my friend and I were sitting in the lodge resting when a lady stopped and posed the question. I had taken off my hat letting my baldness glow from the light of the fire. Smiling, I explained that I didn't have cancer, but that it was a form of Alopecia. She looked a little confused as I continued to explain. She asked if it would grow back and I responded, "Hopefully." With one swift action she reached up and pulled off her short blond wig showing me her regrowth and saying, "When it does begin to grow back it will look like this." By this point she had a bright smile and this compassionate survivor had given me hope. Her journey was much more difficult than mine, and her fight with cancer had settled into a time of remission. This beginner skier was living in the moment and spreading her hope.

Chilly Nights

The furnace went out last night and the thermometer outside registered below zero. Since most of body heat is lost through the head, not only was my bald head chilly but also the rest of my body. Can icicles form on baby hair? Probably not inside the house, but this leads to the question of what caps to wear on cold nights. I purchased a cap from Slumbercap.com not to long ago. The quality product and service from this store is great. The cap has good uses under itchy wool caps or wigs, but it's made from basic cotton and not my preference for sleeping. For my personal comfort I prefer to sleep without a cap, but if needed a fleece lined or super-soft cotton texture works the best. Both Target & Old Navy are good, economical choices for these types of winter caps. Upon its return, my hair will be deeply valued on cold winter nights.

Doctor Dread

I'm a twentysomething with very few health problems. Besides the nuisance cold or cough, I've had no serious ailments since losing my hair. After a recent night with chills and a high fever it was time to go to the doctor. No problem, right? Not exactly. Although I am completely comfortable with my baldness around people in my everyday life, I have an unhealthy stigma of what a doctor would say about the alopecia. In short, I have not been to doctors because I was afraid of what they would say.

Swallowing back irrational fears, I put a wig on my clammy head for my first doctor's visit in a long time. The nurse asked me about family history and then she asked if there was anything else. In an uncharacteristically shy manner I said, "Yes, I have Alopecia." She was surprised because the wig was hiding the baldness. Then, she sat down next to me with a friendly smile and told me about her sister-in-law who also had Alopecia. This was such a relaxing experience and I was so thankful for the healing time she spent with me. Later, the doctor was very nonchalant and did not really talk about the Alopecia.

Dreading the doctor was so silly. I am continually growing, and it is hard to say that I will ever be 100 percent comfortable with my baldness. In the most beautiful way, the personal growth will be so much sweeter than any future hair growth.