Our Wedding Day

So much can be said about our special day....our wedding day! A joyous celebration with family, friends, and a man who knows my heart. We could not have asked for a more beautiful and spirit-filled event.

I lead a "bald life" on average 363 days out of the year. I went back and forth on whether to wear a wig on my wedding day. I was not living in my hometown when I lost my hair. Most of my family knows me with hair and it takes a little getting used to for them when I go home for visits.

The decision basically came down to my preference of going bald versus my grandmother's comfort. This wonderful lady is 90 years old and does not understand why I would not wear a wig. She absolutely loves seeing me in a wig. In the culture in which she grew up wearing wigs was common. When my grandmother first saw me in my veil and wedding dress, I knew we had made the right decision. It wasn't just my day. It was a day for all of my loved ones.

I have many memorable moments from having hair on my wedding day.
A 4 year old friend spinning around the bridal shop while trying on my veil.

My mom and little sister picking out my wig and coloring.

My groom not being able to find me during some pre-wedding day festivities. He always looks for the bald one.

Getting my hair pre-done for the wedding. Not many can say that.

The excitement of spending a morning with my bridesmaids at the salon getting an up do, drawing on eyebrows, and applying eyelashes. Some wonderful moments with a talented stylist and childhood friend.

The look on the groom's face seeing me for the first time. I don't even remember what he said.

After an hour of photos, the photographer saying, "Do you want to take your wig off for these next shots?" An exhilarating moment.

Sitting in an air conditioned room before the ceremony I was able to "let my hair down". Wig in the corner, feet propped up.

Taking pictures with friends at the reception only to hear, "Wait a minute. This isn't right." The next thing I knew we were having a bald photo shoot.

And finally, my husband taking off the wig at the end of the night and telling me I look beautiful.

I am so blessed that I am accepted as a beautiful bald lady in today's society. In the end, I am continuing to learn it is not what you look like that matters. With hair or without, what does matter is how you share your heart with others.
Wedding Day Slideshow
Wedding Day Photos

141 days until our wedding

141 days until....our wedding!!! I've wanted to write a post about my fiancé for several months now. To share with this community the man who loves every part of me--the man who even loves that I do not have hair.

It is truly hard to put all of my thoughts into words. When I chose to not wear a wig, the biggest fear I had was dating. You can read some of my past insecurities in "Dating...Is it the hair?" and "Blind Date". "Do you wear a wig on the first date", "when do you tell the guy", or "would a guy even ask out the bald lady" were just some of my concerns. There were continual challenges and fears that arose.

Then one day, when I least expected, it happened. I met a man who would soon pray, "God let me see her as you see her." We met on a rare occasion when I was wearing a blond wig (later he told me that he did not remember what color hair I had). I told him over the phone that I had Alopecia and was bald. I really did not think he would ever call me back. Then, the next night the phone rang.

For our first date, I told him that I was not going to wear a wig. We were both noticeably anxious. I did not know what he would think of my smooth scalp and he did not know how he was going to react.

I have not worn a wig in his company since we first met. Actually, he's worn the wig more than I have. :) Sometimes I ask, "What would you think if my hair ever grew back?" His response is always, "I'd shave it off when you weren't looking."

I did not fall in love with this man simply because he accepted that I was bald. I love this man because from the beginning he went to God asking for help. Asking to see me through God's eyes and not with false judgment.

There are a lot of unknowns surrounding this journey with Alopecia. I am very thankful for all those in my life and in my fiancé's life who have affirmed our faith and guided us to a Godly perception. We are in awe of the beauty of our relationship and encourage all to be slow to judge.

Take Off That Hat

At the end of my meal, the waitress says with a big smile, "Take off that hat!" I'm not sure why I chose to wear a hat today, but her statement was a pleasant surprise.

I have chosen to "live bald". No wigs and occasional hats. When I first lost all my hair, I wondered what strangers thought of my choice to go bald--can she not afford a wig or she must be really sick. But now I am so comfortable being bald and sharing my life with alopecia.

My encounter with the waitress was so very refreshing. One of her co-workers has alopecia. The conversation that continued made me feel so beautiful. I was not able to meet the lady who had alopecia, but I passed on AlopeciaWorld.com.

Locks of love

I approached a teenager today who had cut off her long hair. I told her the new style looked cute and she said that she donated the hair to Locks of Love. My heart warmed for this child's compassion. Locks of Love is an organization that provides hairpieces to children who are suffering from hair loss. I am blessed to have lost all my hair in adulthood, but I am still thankful for the way people show love to kids that are struggling. Maybe one day I can grow my hair back and donate it to help this worthy organization.

Chilly Nights

The furnace went out last night and the thermometer outside registered below zero. Since most of body heat is lost through the head, not only was my bald head chilly but also the rest of my body. Can icicles form on baby hair? Probably not inside the house, but this leads to the question of what caps to wear on cold nights. I purchased a cap from Slumbercap.com not to long ago. The quality product and service from this store is great. The cap has good uses under itchy wool caps or wigs, but it's made from basic cotton and not my preference for sleeping. For my personal comfort I prefer to sleep without a cap, but if needed a fleece lined or super-soft cotton texture works the best. Both Target & Old Navy are good, economical choices for these types of winter caps. Upon its return, my hair will be deeply valued on cold winter nights.

Family Viewing

The mourning of the death of my uncle brought on a rollercoaster week of family gatherings. We all flew in from different places to be together. My uncle had fought strongly against cancer for several years and it was time to celebrate his life.

Many close family members would see me for the first time without any hair. Although most of them had seen my little bald spots as a child and I did not know how they would react to my new look.

I chose to arrive with my wig and keep it on as much as possible in order not to remind anyone of the trials my uncle faced through chemotherapy treatments. When most people see someone with Alopecia Areata, they think that person is afflicted with cancer.

In private times with different family members, I would show off the beauty of my baldness. My family is so amazingly supportive and their words were so uplifting. In a beautiful way, this week I learned so much about life.

Wedding Wig

The wig worked very well for the wedding. Noone but close friends knew that I had lost my hair. I found myself very concious of the wigs position. I adjusted its postion often and went to the restroom several times to check on how I looked. This was the first, and one of the few, events I would wear the wig. The disguise kept me away from awkward conversations with people I rarely see, but in every day life I choose to go natural.

First Wig

I purchased one nice wig after I lost all my hair. I was going to an out-of-town wedding in a few weeks and I did not want the focus to be on my baldness. The biggest problem with my wig purchase is that I did not have a lot of time before I needed it. So instead of checking out the cancer center and the old wigs shops in town or going on a Chicago shopping trip, I thought buying online would be the easiest.

Shopping online for a wig can be quite intimidating. Finding secure sites, styles, colors, sizes, and price make for a tedious shopping experience. I narrowed down the wigs to a few of my favorites and let my family pick the winner. I had the hardest time determining the color. The online color swatches might not be the actual wig color. A consumer can order a color swatch from the company, but that takes time and I was in a hurry to get the wig shipped. I decided on a Raquel Welch wig at Wigs.com for about $250. This is pricey, but I wanted good quality and I plan to eventually donate the wig.

When the wig arrived, it was nothing like my original hair. The different color and style were a bit refreshing for me, but those close to me did not like the change. Overall the wig turned out to be a good buy for the wedding.

Be cautious if you order your first wig online. Make sure you get the right size and order a color swatch before purchasing. My experience did not provide the greatest satisfaction, but I think part of this perception is from me not liking wigs to begin with.

To Wig or Not To Wig

During this Alopecia journey, deciding not to wear a wig was probably the best decision I made. I am the first to admit that I am not a wig expert. I do not like the way wigs look or feel. I know they are invaluable pieces for some, but having spent most of my life hiding bald spots I have chosen to “show off” my bald head. I usually wear some type of cap in public and sometimes just go out bald. I have not bought any special makeup for eyebrows or artificial eyelashes. I basically let God’s light and my smile carry my beauty.

Everyday Headwear

The old baseball caps and thin headbands tucked in the back of the closet were not suitable for wearing my thinning hairstyle. The time came for a hair supply shopping trip. Stylish hats and thick headbands were needed to cover the bald spots. Accessory stores at the mall were a great place to find different headband styles, but hats can be a little harder to find.

Buying hats are like buying bathing suits for women. Unless tried on it is hard to find the perfect fit. The problem is that retail stores do not carry a variety of hats. Although a variety of styles can be found online, it is a guessing game on how the hat will look.

When searching alopecia hats or coverings online, several sites appear that carry wraps and turbans. Some may like this style, but it does not fit my personality. The best online store I have found is Lids. Their online store has a lot more than just the team caps found at the mall. Check the Lids Label for lower priced styles and the clearance section always has new deep discounts.

For shopping in town, ask friends and family to keep an eye out during their shopping trips. The chain stores do not specialize in headwear, and finding particular styles or colors can be hard.