March 05, 2010

141 days until our wedding

141 days until....our wedding!!! I've wanted to write a post about my fiancé for several months now. To share with this community the man who loves every part of me--the man who even loves that I do not have hair.

It is truly hard to put all of my thoughts into words. When I chose to not wear a wig, the biggest fear I had was dating. You can read some of my past insecurities in "Dating...Is it the hair?" and "Blind Date". "Do you wear a wig on the first date", "when do you tell the guy", or "would a guy even ask out the bald lady" were just some of my concerns. There were continual challenges and fears that arose.

Then one day, when I least expected, it happened. I met a man who would soon pray, "God let me see her as you see her." We met on a rare occasion when I was wearing a blond wig (later he told me that he did not remember what color hair I had). I told him over the phone that I had Alopecia and was bald. I really did not think he would ever call me back. Then, the next night the phone rang.

For our first date, I told him that I was not going to wear a wig. We were both noticeably anxious. I did not know what he would think of my smooth scalp and he did not know how he was going to react.

I have not worn a wig in his company since we first met. Actually, he's worn the wig more than I have. :) Sometimes I ask, "What would you think if my hair ever grew back?" His response is always, "I'd shave it off when you weren't looking."

I did not fall in love with this man simply because he accepted that I was bald. I love this man because from the beginning he went to God asking for help. Asking to see me through God's eyes and not with false judgment.

There are a lot of unknowns surrounding this journey with Alopecia. I am very thankful for all those in my life and in my fiancé's life who have affirmed our faith and guided us to a Godly perception. We are in awe of the beauty of our relationship and encourage all to be slow to judge.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i'm thankful that you share your inner and outer beauty with us all

Anonymous said...

Jill you are an amazing women that I fins a lot of strength from. I wonder if I could ba as brave as you to do all the things you love no matter what others think. Congratulations on your up coming marriage. God is good to give you a mate that loves you unconditionally. E.Meeks

mammamilk said...

Beautiful, Jill. I have tears in my eyes. He truly loves you, inside and out. What a blessing he is to you, and you are to him.
141 days will FLY by - enjoy every one! We can't wait to rejoice with you!